“ My dad was never married. He was kind of a rolling stone. But he was never disrespectful. At the same time, even though he had women in his life when I was a kid, there wasn't any consistency. ”

“ My daughter doesn't even get my humor. She's like, 'Um, no. I don't get it, Dad. Mmm, no, not that one, Dad.' ”

“ Men and women do think differently, and frankly, we don't understand each other. Not at all! But that's what makes relationships so amazing. ”

“ I understand that being able to appeal to the public and having an amazing sense of humour is not something that comes easy. It's definitely a gift and for which I'm thankful. ”

“ I love women with attitude. ”

“ I am who I am. That's why my friends and peers respect and appreciate me. I don't change or cater my actions to fit my surroundings. I'm myself 24/7. People appreciate that. ”

“ The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We've all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we've all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that's a gift - to you and your audience. ”

“ Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way. ”

“ I'm not a big politics guy. ”

“ The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered. ”