“ Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch. ”

“ I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. ”

“ Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. ”

“ Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. ”

“ Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. ”

“ Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. ”

“ Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against. ”

“ I like children - fried. ”

“ It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. ”

“ No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree. ”