“ If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. ”

- George Burns

“ Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. ”

- Luis Bunuel

“ Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents. ”

- Roger Federer

“ I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material! ”

- Wesley Snipes

“ My dad was in the army so we moved around a lot and I changed schools every year and had to make new friends, and I found that if I was the funny guy I could do that easier. ”

- Jason Gann

“ If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? ”

- Lily Tomlin

“ The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities. ”

- Mindy Kaling

“ No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12. ”

- Rowan Atkinson

“ Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. ”

- Albert Einstein

“ I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. ”

- Stephen Fry

“ A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.' ”

- Claude Pepper

“ I was just a ham since about the age of five. If I was performing at Medieval Times or something, I'd be the court jester. That was always my defense mechanism. I was never all that funny I was just obnoxious and loud. ”

- Emma Stone

“ Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. ”

- Anthony Burgess

“ My dad would go to work every day and write in a room full of funny people. He enjoyed it. I know great writers who find the process agonising but to me, writing has always been sheer joy. ”

- Joss Whedon

“ The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. ”

- David Ogilvy

“ Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. ”

- Jay Leno

“ I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come up to me today, 'Your father helped my mother die.' You know what I'm saying? He made her laugh 'til she died. My father was always very funny. ”

- Joan Rivers

“ Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics. ”

- Paul Lynde

“ When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying. ”

- Roseanne Barr

“ Man cannot live by bread alone he must have peanut butter. ”

- James A. Garfield